Toward the end of Yom Kippur Services, the Rabbi asked, "How many of you
have forgiven your enemies?"
80% held up their hands.
The Rabbi said "Try again" and then repeated his question. All responded this time,
except one small elderly lady.
"Mrs. Kohn? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies? "
"I don't have any." She replied, smiling sweetly.
"Mrs. Kohn, that is very unusual. How old are you?"
"Ninety-eight." she replied.
"Oh, Mrs. Kohn," said the Rabbi, "would you please come down in front and
tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy
in the world?"
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the
congregation, and said:
"I outlived the bitches."

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to
use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife
and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

( How the story continues... )